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Kitty Kimbal: Seen here working
on one of her nonsensical rants. |
Constance Kimball was a writer of minimal repute among the townsfolk of Windham Falls. She had written a few bylines in the local newspaper and self-published many recipes and multi-page instruction manuals for local residents. Though her life was filled with endless riches, the result of years of hoarding; she felt a growing emptiness; a portent of an unknown event about to descend upon her unassuming residence.
At 4am on Sunday morning, Ms. Kimball was working on a recipe for salmon cakes when her cottage was struck by lightning. Traveling through the walls and into her electronic typewriter, a great surge of power ended the poor woman's life. "It is as if God was determined that she perish doing what she loved most in this world". Said a neighbor and friend. "She loved to write so much, she would have relished the opportunity to write her own obituary, had she lived long enough to know she had passed on".
A memorial will be held later this week at her home while the family will decide the fate of the now defunct but wholly cherished typewriter that facilitated Ms. Kimball's early demise. "We know she wanted to be cremated, but we are avid recyclers, so I know we can't just burn it". Says daughter Jessica. "I think I would like to set it atop her gravestone, I just worry about grave robbers. They'll take just about anything, you know"?
One thing remains certain, Ms. Kimball will always be remembered as the beloved shut-in and anti-social spinster we as a community had grown to tolerate for so many years. We also, somewhat reluctantly, recognize your contribution to our town's stray cat population.
